I was standing near the front of the recital hall feeling overheated and claustrophobic as I prepared to step onto the stage. As an Admission Office employee, I had been asked to give the university’s introduction presentation to a group of visiting high school music students. I had given this presentation what felt like one thousand times before, so I wasn’t concerned about it before entering the hall. That quickly changed as I mingled with some of the other presenters for the evening and realized how ill-prepared I was to speak to this particular group of music-focused (antisocial) high school music students.
Earlier this year, I received news that was devastating. I was in the middle of the admission process for graduate school, and I had high hopes that I would be able to begin the second portion of my higher education later this year. Feeling overly positive, I did not put much thought into what I would do if I were not accepted into the program. Well, I ended up being forced to learn how I would handle graduate school rejection.
I have dropped the ball when it comes to my personal life. For a while, I was doing a fantastic job of setting goals and proceeding to knock them out of the park. I was organized, habitual, and successful. Unfortunately, those attributes have almost entirely ceased to exist. Somewhere in the past few months, I have watched myself break most of my habits and descend into a life that contains little passion. Instead of challenging myself, I have allowed myself to become lazy, and I want that to end. Now.